7.4 海上暗淡落來

7.4 Hái-siōng àm-tām lo̍h-lâi [Tâi-gí gí-im]

"Lí tú tio̍h siáⁿ-mih put-hēng ê tāi-chì sioh?"

"M̄-sī, góa tú-tú hām chi̍t-ê lâng lī-pia̍t."

Góa chin thán-pe̍h kā kóng. Hō͘ i khòaⁿ tio̍h góa lâu ba̍k-sái, góa mā bô iàu-kín. Góa siáⁿ to bô teh siūⁿ, chí-sī kám-kak ká-ná tī chi̍t-chióng chheng-chēng ê boán-chiok tiong-kan tiām-tiām teh khùn.

M̄-chai tang-sî khai-sí, hái-siōng àm-tām lo̍h-lâi, Ajiro (網代) kap Atami (熱海) í-keng tiám-teng ah. Góa kôaⁿ koh gō. Hit-ê siàu-liân phah-khui tek-a̍p-á pau-tio̍h ê sushi kau hō͘ góa. Góa ká-ná bē-kì-tit che sī pa̍t-lâng ê mi̍h-kiāⁿ, sa-khí nori sushi tō chia̍h. Koh-lâi góa koh chǹg-ji̍p siàu-liân ha̍k-seng ê hoan-moa ni̍h. Góa kám-kak chi̍t-chióng khang-hi ê sim-lí, bô-lūn pa̍t-lâng tùi góa án-chóaⁿ chhin-chhiat, góa lóng ē-tàng chū-chū jiân-jiân kā chiap-siū. Góa siūⁿ, bîn-á-chài thàu-chá chhōa a-pô kàu Ueno, thè i bé chi̍t-tiuⁿ khì Mito ê chhia-phiò, che mā sī eng-kai ê tāi-chì. Góa kám-kak, sū-sū hāng-hāng ê tāi-chì lóng iûⁿ chò-hóe lah.

Chûn-chhng ê iû-teng hoa--khì ah. Chûn téng chài ê chheⁿ-hî kap hái-éng ê khì-bī lú lâi lú kiông. O͘-àm tiong, siàu-liân ê thé-un hō͘ góa un-loán, góa chhut-chāi ba̍k-sái kòng-kòng lâu. Góa ê thâu-náu ná-chhiūⁿ ū chi̍t-khut chheng-chúi, chi̍t-tih chi̍t-tih lâu--lo̍h-lâi, lâu kah khang-khang, siáⁿ lóng bô chhun, kan-ta kám-kak chi̍t-chūn kam-tiⁿ ê khoài-ì.

[Pún-bûn kiat-sok]

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7.4 海上暗淡落來 [台語語音]

"你拄著啥物不幸 ê 代誌 sioh?"

"毋是, 我拄拄和一个人離別."

我真坦白 kā 講. 予伊看著我流目屎, 我 mā 無要緊. 我啥 to 無 teh 想, 只是感覺 ká-ná tī 一種清靜 ê 滿足中間恬恬 teh 睏.

毋知當時開始, 海上暗淡落來, Ajiro (網代) kap Atami (熱海) 已經點燈 ah. 我寒 koh 餓. 彼个少年拍開竹盒仔包著 ê sùsī 交予我. 我 ká-ná 袂記得這是別人 ê 物件, sa 起 nori sùsī tō 食. Koh-lâi 我 koh 鑽入少年學生 ê 番幔 ni̍h. 我感覺一種空虛 ê 心理, 無論別人對我按怎親切, 我攏會當自自然然 kā 接受. 我想, 明仔載透早 chhōa 阿婆到 Ueno, 替伊買一張去 Mito ê 車票, 這 mā 是應該 ê 代誌. 我感覺, 事事項項 ê 代誌攏熔做伙 lah.

船艙 ê 油燈 hoa 去 ah. 船頂載 ê 生魚 kap 海湧 ê 氣味愈來愈強. 烏暗中, 少年 ê 體溫予我溫暖, 我出在目屎 kòng-kòng 流. 我 ê 頭腦 ná 像有一窟清水, 一滴一滴流落來, 流甲空空, 啥攏無賰, 干焦感覺一陣甘甜 ê 快意.

[本文結束]

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7.4

"Have you had a death in your family?"

"No, I just left someone."

I spoke meekly. I did not mind that he had seen me crying. I was not thinking about anything. I simply felt as though I were sleeping quietly, soothed and contented.

I was not aware that darkness had settled on the ocean, but now lights glimmered on the shores of Ajiro and Atami. My skin was chilled and my stomach empty. The boy took out some sushi wrapped in bamboo leaves. I ate his food, forgetting it belonged to someone else. Then I nestled inside his school coat. I felt a lovely hollow sensation, as if I could accept any sort of kindness and it would be only right. It was utterly natural that I should accompany the old woman to Ueno Station early the next morning and buy her a ticket to Mito. Everything seemed to melt together into one.

The lamp in the cabin went out. The smell of the tide and the fresh fish loaded in the hold grew stronger. In the darkness, warmed by the boy beside me, I let my tears flow unrestrained. My head had become clear water, dripping away drop by drop. It was a sweet, pleasant feeling, as though nothing would remain.